Soup monster

[ladyofastolat]

I posted a few months ago about the concealed Brie that Pellinor's Mum securely hid for us into a soup-making gift set that she sent to us. Last night, I decided to make the soup. The instructions told me to tip the entire 500g sachet into a pan, add 2 pints of boiling water and a stock cube, and simmer until done, adding additional water if needed.

Well, to cut a long story short, the end result, even with 2 pints of additional water, was not soup. I reckon you could slice it, bake it in a kiln, and make houses out of it, that not even the most determined wolf could huff-and-puff down.

It also looked, to my taste, supremely unappetising. The "soup mix" consisted of nothing but lentils, barley and peas, with nothing at all to add thickness or flavour. So basically I ended up with an absolutely enormous solid mass of boiled pulses and grains, and that's it. Sadly, it tasted overwhelmingly of overcooked peas, a taste I find very unpleasant. Even with extra water, I knew I wouldn't want to eat it as soup, so I didn't persist.

I hate wasting food, so we debated for while on possible uses. Add a scoop to each stew made? However, last weekend was a Cooking Weekend, and the freezer is therefore full of 12 dinners' worth of various stews, with no new ones to be made for several weeks. I was very tempted to make a Soup Monster out of it - like a snowman, but more fierce, with raisin eyes and orange peel teeth, but the barley didn't stick together quite well enough to allow ears and claws to be formed. Therefore I have tipped it in a big heap in the lawn, to let the local blackbirds, gulls, cats and foxes feast on it. Or not. I will monitor their reactions to this feast with interest.

Comments

[leesa_perrie]

Oh dear, that sounds horrible. Still, the local wildlife may (or may not) be thankful! Let us know how well (or not) it goes!

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Well, none of the daytime birdies seem to have shown any interest in it, since the pile hasn't been noticeably disturbed today. I'll see tomorrow morning if the night-time wildlife is more interested, although foxes and badgers aren't really renowned for their love of boiled barley.

Mind you, since the pile is about the size of Snowdon, a hundred blackbirds could gorge on it all day without it appearing noticeably smaller at the end of the day. We might need to measure the reduction of the "soup" pile in geological time, rather than human time.

[leesa_perrie]

We might need to measure the reduction of the "soup" pile in geological time, rather than human time.

LOL!! :D

EDIT: Btw, why have I got the Soup Dragon on my brain... *shows age - and possibly mental instability*

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Were the night-time wildlife, aka rats, more interested?

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

The soup mountain remains undisturbed. I think it will remain that way until civilisations crumble, and will survive to be excavated by future archaeologists, who will conclude that all early 21st century humans built mountains of boiled grains and pulses just outside their house, purpose unknown but probably ritual.

[puddleshark.livejournal.com]

Therefore I have tipped it in a big heap in the lawn, to let the local blackbirds, gulls, cats and foxes feast on it.

As long as it doesn't feast on them. You may wish to monitor it to check it is not growing.

[bunn.livejournal.com]

... but don't stand too close, while monitoring. In case a long tongue should suddenly lick out and grab you by the ankle.

[leesa_perrie]

Oooh, you don't want to be grabbed by a pile of 'soup'...!

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's growing, but I'm afraid to go out and check now. It hasn't eaten my cat, anyway - a fact she decided to tell me at the crack of dawn today, very loudly and very close.