Swimming

[ladyofastolat]

I can't swim. The reason is quite obvious to me. Neither of my parents can swim, so I was never brought up to be happy in water. They didn't want me to be like them, so they did send me to swimming lessons when I was 8 or so, but then I'd already had 8 years listening to my Mum's terror of water. "You can never trust water!" is one of her most common sayings. She won't say, "Oh, look at that lovely babbling brook!" just, "Oh no! Step away! There might be a flash flood!"

I had a series of lessons, but in the end, the teacher threw me out of class. "I wash my hands of her," he said. "She can swim, but thinks she can't." Looking back at it, this seems quite shocking to me. I hope it wouldn't happen nowadays, and that children like me are given the help they need to build up their confidence, and aren't cast out in shame. He was on to something, though. In Primary School swimming lessons, my teacher noted that I could swim (well, sort of; it was a frenzied doggy paddle, since I didn't want to risk getting my face wet) when wearing flat armbands that I thought had air in them, but couldn't swim without them. She found this quite amusing, but didn't follow it up.

We had swimming lessons at secondary school (aargh, those memories of easing my painful way into that hideously cold outdoor pool!) and the teacher was similarly unsympathetic. (Not surprising, this. This was the same teacher who snapped to my Mum, "she's an intelligent girl; of course she can play hockey.") She once decreed that nobody could go to lunch until I'd swum a width, and made the whole impatient class watch as I flailed in my desperate doggy paddle, half my upper body out of the water. I did my width, but it certainly didn't fill me with any desire to ever get in a swimming pool ever again.

I remember being on the Arthurian North Wales pilgrimage in 1993. It was gorgeous weather, and we all went down to the beach at Harlech. Everyone else ran out on the long sands, into the shallowly sloping water, and out into the distance, to swim under the blue sky. My fellow non-swimmer and I stood watching them, and both said that this was the first time in years that we wished we could swim. I almost felt the same yesterday, when having lunch down on Ryde Sands, a similarly shallowly sloping beach.

Maybe I should try to learn to swim. Pellinor keeps offering to teach me, but the trouble is, when you can't swim, you're not used to wearing a swimming costume - I don't possess one - or appearing in public wearing one. Society decrees that as a woman, I'd have to shave myself in annoying places. I'd have to learn in a public place, where everyone else would see my desperate flailing. I shudder at the memory of the horrible cold of it, and the smell. There's just so many reasons (excuses?) not to. But maybe I should...

Comments

[steepholm.livejournal.com]

To be fair to your hockey teacher, Morris Dancing is a kind of rhythmic hockey, so she had a point.

I quite sympathize re. the swimming, though.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but when we do stick-clashing dances, it is not at all uncommon for me to fail to make contact with my partner's stick, and have to shout a belated "BANG!" Fortunately this only results in general laughter, and not in an irate games teacher telling me I've let the team down.

[thecatsamuel.livejournal.com]

but it's lovely once you're in...

more seriously, round here there are adults only lessons and even one to one coaching which should be less scary.

I hated sport at school and only discovered I liked and was good at it when I went to university. ho hum.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I know loads of people who hated PE at school, but have ended up doing at least some "PE" activities for pleasure in adult life. It's really not a good advert for school PE lessons. But, then, I've also talked to lots of people who hated history at school, but have really got into it since then, by way of TV, novels, family history or whatever, so it's not a problem unique to PE.

I'll take a look and find out what adult only classes are offered locally - although I'm certainly not committing to anything yet!

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

When I went to a new school at 14, I skipped games and PE for the first term, and went to the library and read. Classmates started saying "He must be in another group" at first, because they thought I was; then carried on saying it to cover for me. I did the same thing for the second term. Summer was swimming and cricket, and I didn't mind those so much, so I did them.

Next year, same thing; library. This worked all through the autumn term, and half way through the spring term, when I was found out. The teacher I was sent to talked to me sensibly, found out that I didn't mind swimming, and I was allowed to do this on my own for the rest of that term.

Sixth form, and games / PE became optional; so I did cricket in the summer terms, and that was it.

[purplecat]

G can't swim - well, like you, she can more or less struggle out a length in an interesting one-armed front crawl style (she's a bit better on her back). School have washed their hands of her (they just kept sending me plaintive messages saying "get her extra lessons" - which she's been having for almost a year now). She really doesn't enjoy swimming lessons, though she is actually quite confident in the water and enjoys swimming with us, just not anything that involves acquiring some kind of coordinated style which might enable her to stay afloat without expending vast effort.

At the moment we're trying to decide whether to force her to continue with the extra lessons, or to agree that since she's had a year of them, and can now swim 25 metres unaided, that we should all give it up as a bad job.

I'm not sure quite how this is relevant - except maybe your lack of ability isn't entirely because of your parents (B and I are both moderately good swimmers) - some people obviously just find the whole thing really difficult.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Swimming 25 metres unaided counts as being able to swim, in my book, at least! It's enough to allow you to struggle to the lifebelt if you've accidentally fallen off a ferry, anyway.

[evilmissbecky.livejournal.com]

You have my sympathies. I too have a checkered past with swimming lessons.

When I was young, maybe 7 or 8, my mom signed up my sister and I for swimming lessons at a public pool. I don't remember much about them, except being tossed into the water and told to "Swim out to the teacher!" And actually, I take it back. I remember stark terror.

I figured I would just never learn and that was fine by me. Then in my first year of high school, as part of our P.E. class, everyone had to take swimming. And everyone had to pass. The first day we all got in the pool and the teacher told us to swim down to the other end of the pool. I looked up at him and said, "I can't." He pointed to the far end and said, "Swim down there." This little exchange got repeated at least one more time that I remember, and then finally I set off. I imagine it looked a lot like your desperate dog paddling, and I very definitely kept my head and face far above the water.

I was fortunate, though, that my teacher wasn't a complete ass. He agreed to coach me in private lessons during my study hall. So for a few weeks I went to the pool instead of study hall, and he taught me several swimming strokes.

If you can find someone to give you private lessons, I highly recommend it. I still don't swim "right" (i.e., with my face in the water) but at least I can swim and I do enjoy it.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Eek! I don't think swimming teachers (or some swimming teachers, anyway) understand the mentality of someone who can't swim and is actually afraid as a result. Fear is a barrier to learning. (I see this when teaching older computer novices who are terrified of the machines.) How is forcing somehow to feel real terror for their life going to achieve anything other than trauma and further loss of confidence? Grr!

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Learning to swim is a great idea! Particularly when you live on an island!

You'll look a damn sight better than me in a swimming costume and I gallumphed cheerfully into the sea yesterday. No doubt there were random hairs but hey, I'm a woman in my 40's. Nobody was looking at me, and in the water, all seals are grey anyway. Sundress off, into sea, swim, hop out, towel on.

You could even wear a swimdress with a little skirt if you are worried - there are some quite cute ones about?

School PE teachers were the pits. I do hope they have improved.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Sea swimming definitely appeals more than swimming pool swimming. On a hot day, with a non-scary sea (i.e. gentle sands, no scary breakers) I do sometimes feel the call of the water. Swimming pools I just find quite hideous in every way.

Although hopefully the "living on an island" thing won't become relevant, and I won't end up having to swim to the mainland as the only way to escape some hideous island-based apocalypse.

[lycoris.livejournal.com]

Ugh at that teacher - I hate teachers who bring the students into it like that. It makes things harder for everybody.

Personally, I think swimming is great, mostly because I find it really relaxing as an activity (unlike most excerise which I view as faintly stressful) So I would say learning to swim might not be a bad idea - and obviously, it is a good emergency skill.

I never shave anywhere and I still go swimming - screw the public (although nobody has ever commented once on my hairs, most swimming pools aren't full of people who really care) If you decide you want to learn and you don't want professional lessons (which could be out there, there are adult swimming classes sometimes), go early or late. Hardly anybody is there early or late, so fewer people to be staring. Check out the swimming pool of your choice, find out if they have classes or anything (some swimming pools also have adult only times which can be very good.)

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I can never understand why some teachers - PE teachers, in my experience, but my Mum tells similar tales about her maths teachers - feel the need to publicly humiliate pupils. How on earth can that ever be conducive to learning?

Apparently our nearest swimming pool is closed at the moment for refurbishment, but I might (might) investigate their classes once they open. But maybe I should get a swimming costume first and get out on the beach, to get past that first little hang-up...

[puddleshark.livejournal.com]

I think there must have been an academy for evil PE teachers, with a mission to put children off sport for life...

I think it's never too late to learn. A friend (in her 60s) recently had some swimming lessons with a tutor who specialises in helping people overcome a fear of water.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a good idea. My childhood experiences show that I definitely needed gentle handling with a teacher who would work with me to overcome my fears. Pellinor's offered, but I fear it would end in tears and recrimination.

[bookwormsarah.livejournal.com]

I love swimming now, but I was a very poor swimmer for a long while - I still hate getting my face wet and I can't/won't jump into water. I have to hold my nose if I duck under, and I try to avoid where possible. We had swimming lessons in the juniors, and I was thrown out of the pool for refusing to jump in the water. The teacher told me to, I said no, he shouted at me, I said no again (I was terrified!) and then he threw me out of the class. I was pretty upset, but I got changed and read in a cubicle for the rest of the lesson!

Truefact: I was a very good swimmer when I was little, but one day Mum took to my regular swimming class and I absolutely refused. I seemed to suddenly lose my ability to swim, and it took many years for it to come back.

I hated hockey.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

It's reassuring to hear that it's possible to be a keen and competent swimmer without getting your face wet! My problem was that whenever water splashed on my face unexpectedly, or I unexpectedly found my face underwater, I gasped with surprise, which is exactly the wrong thing to do.

[parrot-knight.livejournal.com]

I tried to learn to swim at school for five years, but it always seemed an odd thing and I never trusted the water. I wasn't frightened of it as such (at least not until I was pushed in by a frustrated teacher) but I still have a problem with it intellectually. Is it atmosphere, or surface? My reaction on getting into the water has always been to curl up, to the puzzlement of those who think one should stretch out. Of course, in any swimming costume one feels dangerously exposed.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I don't intellectually accept that it's remotely possible for things to float. It just cannot happen. But, then, I have an even worse problem with flying. I just have to accept that planes CAN fly (magic, surely) and that boats and most other people CAN float. It's just that when I'm in the water myself, I can't believe that I can float.

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

Perhaps a combined solution to the problems of a) the sea being cold, b) wanting to look cool, c) wanting to look as if everything is, how shall I put this...neat and tidy and d) not wanting to get sunburnt is to go swimming in a wetsuit. Most of the people you see swimming and surfing in the sea around here do it in wetsuits rather than bikinis and the like except on the very hottest of days.

Not that I'd ever do this in a million years. I'm reasonably happy to swim in a heated indoor pool. In fact, there was a time when I would often go swimming in hotel pools when working away. I can swim pretty well. But I do not get the appeal of swimming in the sea.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Lots of people go into the sea wearing wetsuits round here, too, but they're usually young men with bulging muscles and long hair, and they do so while standing stylishly on surfboards. Or trying to. They do try very hard, but we're not quite California here.

[inamac.livejournal.com]

I can swim, I have a swimming certificate for 20 feet (up to the point where the boys in the class would gather to pull the girls under). This is why, like you, always keep my face out of the water. Also, I cannot float (which seems to involve 'relaxing' backwards on the water - not something of which someone expecting to be dragged under at any moment is capable.

My aunt never learned as a child - she eventually bought a house with a swimming pool and had private lessons. This is not an option for the financially challenged - but you might find a private pool that gives instruction.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I think a private lesson in a private pool - just me and the instructor - is exactly what I need. Sadly, I can't see us building a swimming pool in our garden any time soon. For one thing, it would have to be a very small pool, and it would end up full of cats.

[adaese.livejournal.com]

I can keep up a slow breaststroke for a reasonable distance, but never got the hang of anything more advanced. I think the PE teachers pretty much gave up on me once they were happy I wouldn't embarrass them by drowning in the lesson, and thereafter concentrated their efforts on getting fancy certificates for all the strong swimmers.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I always liked it when PE teachers gave up on me. It took me 2 years to get the hockey teacher to give up on me and let me and my equally useless friends idly hit balls around on a spare pitch, but it was a very nice moment when it finally happened.

[girlspell.livejournal.com]

My mother was a competitive swimmer. She taught us all. The important thing is to be relaxed in the water. She thought (correctly) that some swimming teachers are aggressive and intimidating. The end result, a poorly trained swimmer that feels uncomfortable in the water.

She should try and learn to swim again. It's the ideal sport for fitness, because you can't be injured. Hope you will.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

It should have been obvious to my childhood teachers that my problem was entirely due to confidence and fear, and that they therefore needed to concentrate on building up my confidence and overcoming my fear. Sadly this was an alien concept to them. Aggressive and intimidating really doesn't help when you're afraid.

[chainmailmaiden]

I'll swim in the sea with you :-). I finally own a cossie again thanks to my holiday earlier this year. I'd swim in November, I used to swim in the North Sea in October when I was in my teens, no wetsuit for me, us Geordie lasses are hard :-D

[bunn.livejournal.com]

If we have a warm November, I may hold you to this :-D

[chainmailmaiden]

Don't get Pellinor to do it, it won't end well, you'd be far better with someone trained to teach adults to swim. Then you can enjoy swimming with him once you have your confidence back about swimming.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I think I'd want a few sessions first with Pellinor just concentrating on appearing in the costume in public, getting into the water, feeling comfortable splashing around and so on. But, yeah, you're right that it's probably best to go with a professional for the actual teaching. There could well be tears and arguments otherwise. :-)

[chainmailmaiden]

By the sound of it, you need a teacher who can help you learn to relax in the water. You are very unlikely to sink even in a pool, but frenzied paddling makes it seem like you will if you stop doing it even for a second. I wish I had a convenient swimming pool & the time to go to it. I used to go twice a week, I loved how it helped me wind down after a tough day. Swimming in the sea is great fun, some of my best holidays have involved lots of sea swimming :-)

[gramarye1971]

When I was a lifeguard, I used to teach swimming lessons, and so stories of terrible swimming instructors make me cringe. (I had one or two myself, and pretty much had to learn at my own pace with a bit of coaching from my father.)

Private lessons with a calm, sympathetic instructor can certainly help. I'd offer to give them myself if I were in any geographic position to do so. ^^;; And I think it's worth mentioning the bad experiences to the instructor beforehand -- I once worked with an older man who'd nearly drowned as a child when a cruel cousin threw him into a lake at the family summer home, and he had a profound fear of not being able to touch the bottom. I ended up giving him my lifeguard rescue tube (nice and solid foam) and I actually towed him around the deep end, swimming along beside him and talking him through the feeling of having nothing under his feet. Even if he wasn't swimming on his own, he did have the sense of being more in control in deep water. He wouldn't be swimming the Channel anytime soon, but I do think he felt comfortable enough to not panic when the water was more than chest-high. If he hadn't mentioned that incident to me, though, I wouldn't have been able to tailor my lesson to help him enjoy it.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

It's encouraging to hear stories of people who've learnt to overcome fear and learn to swim. I definitely feel that private one-to-one lessons are the route I need to take. I found a website that sounded perfect - the instructors were people who had themselves learnt as adults, after years of being afraid - but it turned out that it was one of those annoying websites that claims to be local to you, wherever you happen to be, but actually isn't local at all.

[squonk79.livejournal.com]

Yes, you should learn and it's never too late! My mom was 50 and my Dad was nearly 60 when they learnt.

I was lucky, although both parents were scared of water we were sent to classes almost as soon as we could walk so we never had the negative influence. And while i knew growing up that my mom couldn't swim after a bad childhood experience, i had no idea my dad couldn't.

I love the water and i feel sad for people like yourself that don't get to experience it, especially when it's born of stupid adults when you were a kid.

I still hated school swimming though.