The truth about cats and dogs

[ladyofastolat]

I think it's time to answer this age-old question in a conclusive, scientific way. Since it's a rigorous scientific study, I'm not allowing such wishy-washy, evasive answers as "I like them both equally," or "I hate the lot of them!" or "it depends on whether you mean 'better at climbing trees' or 'better at barking at postmen.'" My fervent attachment to subjectivity meant that I was very tempted to frame the question as "which do you prefer," rather than "which are better" but soon realised that the issue is one that can only have a firm answer. While such vague questions as "which is taller: an adult flea or an adult elephant" allow space for those "it depends", and "it's more complicated than that" sort of answers, this issue is clearly a black and white one, with no possible shades of grey.

[Poll #1420964]

Comments

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

I think people who feel really strongly about this should be entitled to more votes!

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Why do you think I have two LJs? ;-p

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

How about a simple democratic, one vote per pet?

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

Inherent bias.

[bunn.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that both dogs, plus Footie and Kjetil would Vote Dog.

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

I've got their proxy.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I think my cats would fail to understand the question, and then Honey would rip up her ballot paper and Precious would go to sleep on hers.

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

Hence the proxy - you should vote on their behalf.

[squonk79.livejournal.com]

I think you know how i voted.

Love dogs always have.

Used to like cats. Got attacked one too many times. I have scars.
And no matter how lovely and friendly and docile and gentle you think your cat is, it WILL become the spawn of satan when i walk in the room GUARENTEED!!

Their fleas on the other hand love me. Last time i was attacked by cat fleas the final count was nearly 160 bites (in two days). Most attractive i can assure you.

I'm not sure i can convey just how much i dislike cats now.

Dammit, i need a dog icon...

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do so wish I could advertise for the 100 most placid cats in the country, then put you in protective clothing and take you from cat to cat, just to test this theory. ;-)

[squonk79.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, i'm ok with not testing that theory...

But seriously, i even had a cat with no teeth try to bite me. All i did was walk in the room and it tried to gum me to death!

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I really shouldn't laugh, should I. *hangs head in repentance while smothering giggles at the image of savage toothless cat*

[thecatsamuel.livejournal.com]

See username....

[muuranker.livejournal.com]

Ok, I did dither. Dogs saved my life. Animal experimentation. I am sure that Banting and Best (or whoever) might use cats in an alternative universe.

But that is a barking-at-postmen / throwing-up-hairballs issue (at least, I assume dogs do not have the attractive habit of sounding like a milk-bottle being upended at two in the morning, leaving a pile of glurchk for you to step into).

Better. Tickybox. No question.

[evilmissbecky.livejournal.com]

There can be no doubt about it.

Dogs rule.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I'd like to live in a country ruled by dogs. I suspect that the laws of the land would be rather too focused around the right to sniff unmentionable things. I think a country ruled by cats would be more comfortable. For one thing, the ruling cabal would only bother waking up for half an hour a day, so wouldn't have time to pass any really uncomfortable laws. Dogs would consider government quite desperately exciting, and would bombard us with impulsive, badly-planned laws concerning squeaky balls and walkies. ;-)

[evilmissbecky.livejournal.com]

Dogs would consider government quite desperately exciting, and would bombard us with impulsive, badly-planned laws concerning squeaky balls and walkies.

Actually, there would probably be no laws passed at all. Any lobbyist group with a treat would be eagerly welcomed, and since all sides would be heard and loved, no one would be favored over any one else, and the arguing over the bill would be enormous. Nothing would ever get solved, but the government would keep eating up those treats. :-)

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

While you paint a rosy picture of Government by Dog, I think the main drawback would be how susceptible to dictatorship they would be. "I am pack leader!" declares unscrupulous, power-crazed canine, and before you know it, you have an evil dictatorship.

However, I defy anyone to persuade cats to fall in line behind an evil dictator. Dark Lord P'Uss, lord of the militarised felines, just doesn't sound plausible. You can't conquer worlds with armies that fall asleep in the sun and stroll off haughtily when given orders. Besides, all the hero needs to do is unleash his mighty weapon, The Ball of Wool plus 6, and it's all over.

[bunn.livejournal.com]

You could give your enemy a chicken leg to hold, then open a large basket of Bungles...?

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Though wouldn't that be more akin to the rampaging of scarcely-human barbarian hordes, that are likely to turn on their masters and rend them limb from limb for the faint after-scent of chicken on their dastardly fingers, than to a well-drilled minion army of a tyrannical dictator?

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I think if you are expecting dogs to form a well drilled tyrannical army then you may also be expecting a bit much.

Particularly if the dogs are sighthounds. They would ignore the enemy altogether and race about in a big gang, making loony faces. Then they would stop for a nap.

You might be able to get collies to form a well drilled army, though you'd need to give them lots to do. Still, I believe that applies to human armies too, hence all the painting of things white.

[story-twins.livejournal.com]

Cats are awesome! Dogs are... well, they simply are:)