I had an email today talking about the dire effects of cats in public libraries. At least, that's what I read it as. Just as I was wondering what the consequences would be - fleas? allergic customers? priceless old books used as a bed? - I realised my mistake. I prefer my version.
Then I almost send an email to all local schools in which I told them about a scheme that would help "inspire children to love cooks." Do cooks have a particular image problem, I wonder, or are there similar schemes devoted to creating positive feelings about plumbers, accountants and sewage farm workers? Or do cooks find it particular hard to find partners, due to their unsociable hours and the food smells that linger on their clothes, and want to train up the next generation to dream of marrying the cooks of tomorrow?
Finally, I was looking at a new children's book on castles, and came across the statement that of all the millions of people who visit the Tower of London, "very few of them realise that this is actually London's very own castle." Um, what else could it be? Do many thousands of people make their visit to the Tower of London, and leave it under the impression that they've just visited a pub or a brothel or a nuclear submarine?
Then I almost send an email to all local schools in which I told them about a scheme that would help "inspire children to love cooks." Do cooks have a particular image problem, I wonder, or are there similar schemes devoted to creating positive feelings about plumbers, accountants and sewage farm workers? Or do cooks find it particular hard to find partners, due to their unsociable hours and the food smells that linger on their clothes, and want to train up the next generation to dream of marrying the cooks of tomorrow?
Finally, I was looking at a new children's book on castles, and came across the statement that of all the millions of people who visit the Tower of London, "very few of them realise that this is actually London's very own castle." Um, what else could it be? Do many thousands of people make their visit to the Tower of London, and leave it under the impression that they've just visited a pub or a brothel or a nuclear submarine?