Neutral job observation

[ladyofastolat]

philmophlegm (who clearly has too much time on his hands) has categorised this month's posts by his LJ friends, and has worked out the average number of replies each category gets. The highest scoring category is "neutral job news or observations". So here goes:

I have a job. It exists.

*sits back and waits for the comments to roll in*

Comments

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Hm. I feel it says a lot about your competitive nature that you immediately latch onto the quantitative metric. :-p

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

No, no, I'm just testing the validity of his results, which I fear might be flawed by not having a big enough sample. It's purely objective scientific interest. ;-P

[sigisgrim.livejournal.com]

I'm all for scientific research.

[alitalf.livejournal.com]

Sorta the equivalent of someone selling a piece of string to one of his friends on ebay?

[sigisgrim.livejournal.com]

I'll quite happily buy a piece of string from you. But not on ebay. *spits*

[sigisgrim.livejournal.com]

I have a job. It exists.

I've got one of those. I actually quite enjoy mine. I get to play with lots of data and have interesting database problems to solve with a bit of front-end work thrown in. I even get to talk to the occasional customer. It's rather fun.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Hey! You've strayed into the territory of "good job news", and way out of the confines of "neutral." ;-P

(BTW, I misread "customer" as "costumer", which gave me an unexpected new opinion on what your job consists of.)

[parrot-knight.livejournal.com]

I have jobs, which exist, though mainly to encourage me to escape as soon as I can, which is not proving easy.

[nilsigma.livejournal.com]

Does your job exist? Is it possible for an abstract concept to exist? Wherein lies the essence of its existence? Excuse me while I go to Paris and drink some Absinthe.

[segh.livejournal.com]

But is "exists" a predicate?

[king-pellinor.livejournal.com]

Yes, or else the ontological argument would be incorrect.
As we know God exists, all arguments for his existence must be correct.
Therefore "exists" is a predicate.

QED

[bunn.livejournal.com]

I have a job. It exists.

Incidentally, I do hope you touched wood. That sort of statement is surely almost as dangerous as showing other members of the party a photo of your sweetheart and talking about your inoffensive future plans together.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

*laughs* You may be right. However, such foolish behaviour with the photo of a sweetheart doesn't normally result in the sweetheart no longer existing. The showing does not normally prompt a giant meteorite to fall on the sweetheart's head and obliterate her. So I think I'm probably safe.

[evilmissbecky.livejournal.com]

Squeee!!!

Or, should you prefer: Grrrr!!!!

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Or maybe, since this is neither good nor bad news, something in between, like Grrrreeee (without an exclamation mark; exclamation marks aren't neutral) or Squrrrr.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

*makes neutral comment*

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

*would make neutral response, but that would be too obvious an attempt to get the comment count up, so will refrain from doing so*

[purplecat]

This is now your second most commented post this month.

Since your most commented post was the one about people at work changing names - presumably also a neutral job observation - I would say that the thesis is supported.

[philmophlegm.livejournal.com]

Oh god, what have I started...?

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

I did actually consider trying to mess up all future classification exercises by doing a post that contained every single one of your categories, but I decided that merely by doing so, I would render the post ineligible for the "poster is cleverer than everyone else" category.

[the-marquis.livejournal.com]

Reads neutral post, intends to leave neutral comment - but what is neutral in this context? Given that "Hmm" in spoken English can be used to convey many shades of (dis)approval ...

*Falls over dead of brain flip*

[phoebesmum.livejournal.com]

I have a job, but possibly not for much longer.

[westerling.livejournal.com]

*bandwagonjumping*

Just to add to the chaos.

[evilmissbecky.livejournal.com]

It occurs to me that you should have written your post in LOLcat.

"I can hasz a job nao?"

'Tis very neutral. And it reaches out to everyone. We can all relate.

I suggest trying that next time.

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I'm not sure if it's that neutral. Some people hate LOLcat. Some people don't understand it. Some people would chuckle. Hatred, bafflement or chuckling don't seem to me like neutral responses. ;-)