Road rage

[ladyofastolat]

What is it with today? Why does every living thing on this island feel the need to blunder in front of my car? Has my car been hit with an invisibility ray? Has some joker pinned a notice to my car reading, "Free cakes!" or "Bet you can't tag ME!" I was only driving to a small school about ten minutes into the country, and then back through town. As my route took me past a supermarket, I made a very quick trip into it to buy weekend cider. (See Appendix A for cider-related rant.) In that time, the following things blundered in front of me:
- Four bunnies
- Three old ladies meandering with shopping trolleys
- Two pheasants
- One red squirrel
- One baby in a buggy, pushed out by unheeding mother
- One taxi that decided to change lane on a roundabout into the exact place where I was, but he indicated after he'd forced me to do an emergency stop, so that's okay, then.

Luckily, I missed all of them, but the repeated emergency stops now mean that all the Morris sticks and storytelling books in the car are now gathered, snowdrift-like, at the front of the car, and I'm very glad the cider isn't due to be opened until tomorrow, or we'd be looking at a redecorated kitchen. The red squirrel was particularly alarming, since anyone who squashes a red squirrel has to report it to the authorities, and risk being vilified, and hounded off the island.

Appendix A: Said supermarket trip being necessary because our home-made wine has run out, and the local shops don't do any decent cider. I think CAMRA needs to adopt cider, too. Most small shops seem to have a selection of real ales, but their cider is dire.

Comments

[lil-shepherd.livejournal.com]

I did hit a pheasant not so long ago. They are particularly suicidal - rather like the pedestrians in Barkingside High Street...

When I was learning to drive (which I did when I was in my forties), my instructor told me with glee that he, "Liked teaching [me] because [I] understood the points system from Death Race 2000 - none of these kids do." Hence the comments he used to make, like, "Hey, you just missed that woman on the zebra. Let's go round again and see if we can pick up the points this time..."

[greenwoodside.livejournal.com]

Animals can be incredibly silly. Not quite as bad as mothers with buggies - they're worse than teh lemmings in the computer game, honestly - but still far too apt to ignore a five minute break in the traffic only to run out across the road with a whisker separating them from a messy death.

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Just think, if you had hit the bunnies and the pheasants, you would have the ingredients for a large quantity of excellent stew...

You could probably hide the squirrel in there too and no-one would know. I'm guessing the baby, the old ladies and the taxi-driver might be missed though.

And the old ladies would probably be a bit tough, even if you stewed them...

[sigisgrim.livejournal.com]

I hit a rabbit once. It headed off one way, I tried to go round it the other way, then it changed direction right in front of my car and *bang* dead bunnie. I went back and checked, it was very dead. I ended up picking it up by the ears and throwing it into the hedge rather than leaving it in the middle of the road. I felt very guilty for a long while afterwards.

[sigisgrim.livejournal.com]

I had some similar fun on Tuesday.

On the way to work I was in the left hand lane queuing towards a roundabout. The left lane splits into two just before it both to turn left, the right hand lane does the same but one straight on and other turn right. I wanted to get into the right most of the turn left lanes so I could get into the right hand lane of the dual carriageway I was going to be turning left onto. The problem is that a large number of car drivers in the right hand lane also want to turn left and push into that right most turn left lane to do so. That was what happened, becuase I was slightly in front of the car in the right lane (who wasn't indicating) and had space to move before he did I ended up in front of him. He wasn't happy. *horn* *horn* *oscilating motion of lose fist* I ignore him and carry on. A moment later he is racing towards me at high speed in the lane I'm in, just as the traffic starts to slow up, so have to I brake, he has to do an emergency stop, the guy who had changed lanes just after he went past had to take advoiding action. He then goes past me on the inside, the left lane having speeded up compared to the right. More gesticulation. I ignored him. Just after a set of traffic lights there is a large layby. He pulled into it and gestered me to pull over too. I ignored him again.

Then when we were going to the cinema in the evening on the same roundabout an artic tries pulling out in front of us when we're going round the roundabout. I have no time to stop or space to pull over. Luckily there is just enough space for me to squeeze between his front bumper and the car to my right; if there hadn't been I would have hit one or the other. Me: *horn* Lorry: lots of lights. Then after he does pull out there are lots more lights. We then have to stop at the traffic lights further up. The lorry stops just inches off my rear bumper.

When we come off the motorway, I get in the correct lane to go round the two roundabouts, various vans and stuff try to push in, change lane at the last moment, cut me (and other people up). It's just far worse than usual.

*is bemused* It just seems to go like that some times.

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

I think CAMRA needs to adopt cider, too.

http://www.camra.co.uk/page.aspx?o=cider

Cider

[themis1.livejournal.com]

I think CAMRA needs to adopt cider, too.

... because then every type of alcohol not drunk by MPs and therefore subject to extra tax would have a single champion? (Me, old and cynical? Never!)

PS - have just friended you, I come to you via Lil_Shepherd, who has known me for years. I don't post much, but would definitely have responded to your opening about the influences of internet fandom, had I come to it earlier!! Oh, and I work in Kidlington :-)

[natika.livejournal.com]

I am reminded of my grandmother, whose sole instruction to me upon learning to drive was "If you see a pheasant, speed up!"

And I always thought CAMRA did do cider. And perry. I still don't like even the good stuff, sadly.

*friends you*