Special hell

[ladyofastolat]

You know Shepherd Book's thing about the special hell reserved for people who talk in the theatre? Forget talking in the theatre! The special hell needs to be reserved for designers who think that fake pockets are a good idea.

Yes, I know I've ranted about this before, but fake pockets? FAKE POCKETS? WHY? I have been told that garments hang better and travel better if pockets are sewn up, so I can perhaps, and very grudgingly, accept that there might be a slight justification for sewing up pockets in garments destined for a life of stardom as a catwalk or catalogue model. But I'm talking about cheap, functional garments that will never look glamorous. I'm talking about garments that don't have pockets at all, merely useless little flaps - not even decorative ones, but boring, barely visible ones - that look as if they belong to pockets, but don't. WHY? WHY? If there was no pocket at all, perhaps I could learn to live with it; I do, after all, possess pocketless skirts and dresses. But why go to the effort of adding a useless little fake pocket opening unless you're doing it purely to deceive and enrage? Your eyes think there's a pocket there. Experience from other trousers tells you there'll be a pocket there. The useless little flap of fabric draws your fingers into it, only to make them come up short.

I have been told that men's trousers are immune from this plague. However, strangely, I have never yet heard a woman say, "Oh, I am SO overwhelmed today. I've got 4 pockets on my trousers, and it's such a lot to think about. If only two of them were fake!"

Give us trousers without pockets for those who want them. Give us trousers with pockets for those who want them. But don't give us trousers that say, "Hey, look at me! I've got 4 lovely pockets!" only to reveal once you've got them home that two of them are WICKED LIES!

And, yes, I KNOW that the moral of this story is "don't hastily buy trousers without checking the pocket situation," and "don't assume that, just because a pair of trousers appears to be UTTERLY IDENTICAL to the pair you bought from the same shop last year, it really IS utterly identical, and hasn't replaced perfectly functional pockets with fakes."

AND while I'm busy ranting about trousers... I'm five foot five and a bit, which is round about the average height for women in the UK. Something is very wrong in the world of women's trousers if trousers marked as "short" are 2 inches too long for me. Last year's pocket-rich well-nigh-identical-but-not pair were also "short" and exactly right. I suspect them of taking the fabric they saved from the pockets and sticking it on the hems.

Comments

[lil-shepherd.livejournal.com]

I am five foot three and have short legs. So much so that I have had to cut three or four inches off every pair of 'short' trousers I have bought over the past few years. I am wearing the first pair that I haven't had to cut. Why? Because they are actually meant to finish half way up my calves.

[timetiger.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm with you there. My trousers must have pockets -- left side for my wallet, right side for keys and coins. It's long since become second nature. Tricky trousers that only pretend to have pockets?Madness!

[kalimac.livejournal.com]

I think it's women's clothing. Samuel R. Delany tells a story in one of his essays about the time his wife, Marilyn Hacker, got soaked by rain coming home, and put on a pair of his trousers since that was what they had clean, and was totally astonished by the roomy, comfortable pockets. Delany's point was how unaware we are of the cultural restrictions we live under.

For my part as a man, I need my large pockets because they're the only place I have to carry the things that women put in purses.

[leesa_perrie]

Yes and yes again! Also on the 'short' trouser thing!!

Oh, and inside pockets on coats. I've got one coat that has one of these and it's great for my mobile, but most women's coats don't have them! Why? I know we have handbags, but when I put my mobile phone in my bag, I often don't hear it. I always hear it when it's in my inside pocket - but that's just a summer thing, as my winter coat doesn't have one! *mutters*

[puddleshark.livejournal.com]

There must have been a law passed that forbids women to have useful pockets in their garments - why else would every single manufacturer of women's trousers in the UK suddenly stop putting proper pockets in trousers?

Fake pockets just add insult to injury.