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Questing for the apples of the earth
Apr. 23rd, 2020 10:17 amI always have great trouble with potatoes sprouting, so tend to buy only small packets and ensure that they get eaten within a week or so. But back when we were in peak panic buying season and all the shelves were entirely devoid of starchy carbohydrates, one of our half-hearted concessions to panic buying was to grab a small (750g) bag of potatoes despite having no immediate plans for it. To address the whole sprouting issue, I put it on the ex-garage (the coldest room) under a sheet of sewing fabric.
I then forgot about it for a few weeks. Remembering much later, I checked them and found that none of them had sprouted - yay! - but one was going mouldy - boo! But I was busy in the same room recording a video for work, so decided to deal with it later.
And then forgot.
Later that evening, after a few glasses of wine, we went into the ex-garage and noticed a rather unpleasant smell. The potatoes? But strange, if so, since they'd been there for weeks and I'd noticed no smell earlier that day. The pile of unsorted LARP kit? Same argument, except that it had been sitting there for months. The fact that the external door had been open and untended for a while the night before, and local cats might have wandered in and left unwanted presents?
Anyway, just in case it was the potatoes, I decided to move them to another room, for Science. Pretty basic Science - i.e. did the smell move to a new room along with the potatoes? - but hey. Note that I still failed to do anything at all about removing the mouldy potato. Oh well...
Next day, I'd planned to have half the packet of potatoes for dinner. I went to the garage to get them. Where were they? Oh yes! We'd moved them.
But where?
We'd had some wine when we moved them, but honestly not THAT much. We both clearly remembered the entire conversation. We just had no memory at all on where we took the blasted things afterwards.
We tried obvious cool, dark places: the cupboard under the stairs, the utility room. Nothing. Kitchen cupboards. The fridge. Nothing. We tried a bit of role play. "Okay, I've had a couple of glasses of wine. What would seem a sensible thing to do with a bag of potatoes?" Surely we wouldn't have put them in a bedroom or living room, given the whole nasty smell thing that was the entire point. But time was ticking on, and I was getting increasingly hungry (I fall apart when I'm hungry) and they were definitely not anywhere sensible, so on we went to stupid places.
Underwear drawers. Inside the food bin. Outside, to search under all the easily accessible shrubs. The car. The recycling wheelie bin. Drawers we'd opened 3 times were opened for a 4th, just in case a different result was achieved. Underwear drawers again. Inside shoes. Inside boxes plainly too small to hide them, but they had to be somewhere. THEY HAD TO BE SOMEWHERE?
BUT WHERE? It was getting really quite surreal. They had to be somewhere, but we'd looked absolutely everywhere FOR AN HOUR! In the loft? No, we'd remember THAT - as I say, it honestly wasn't that much wine, and the rest of the evening after the potato incident was clear and vivid in our minds. The very fact that we'd forgotten all about it suggested that we hadn't gone far or put in any real effort - had probably done it casually while talking about something else, barely even noticing what we were doing.
But I was getting too hungry to wait, and though I refused to give up the search, something had to be done, so we grabbed some frozen parmentiers and popped them in instead.
Whereupon, naturally, Pellinor promptly found the missing potatoes. I'd put them on the dining chair I always use, protected from the room's bright sunlight by the cushion that always covers the chair. The dining table is currently set up for Gloomhaven (an endless board game) and we'd fully intended to play it that afternoon - hence, presumably, my assumption that I didn't have to bother trying to remember where I'd put them, since I'd discover them by sitting on them. ("Oh yes," said Pellinor, "I said something about the princess and the pea. I remember now!")
Oh, and the mysterious smell? It didn't move to the dining room, but it had also disappeared from the garage, so who knows? It is a Mystery, but after much questing and many daring adventures, the potatoes at length were not.
I then forgot about it for a few weeks. Remembering much later, I checked them and found that none of them had sprouted - yay! - but one was going mouldy - boo! But I was busy in the same room recording a video for work, so decided to deal with it later.
And then forgot.
Later that evening, after a few glasses of wine, we went into the ex-garage and noticed a rather unpleasant smell. The potatoes? But strange, if so, since they'd been there for weeks and I'd noticed no smell earlier that day. The pile of unsorted LARP kit? Same argument, except that it had been sitting there for months. The fact that the external door had been open and untended for a while the night before, and local cats might have wandered in and left unwanted presents?
Anyway, just in case it was the potatoes, I decided to move them to another room, for Science. Pretty basic Science - i.e. did the smell move to a new room along with the potatoes? - but hey. Note that I still failed to do anything at all about removing the mouldy potato. Oh well...
Next day, I'd planned to have half the packet of potatoes for dinner. I went to the garage to get them. Where were they? Oh yes! We'd moved them.
But where?
We'd had some wine when we moved them, but honestly not THAT much. We both clearly remembered the entire conversation. We just had no memory at all on where we took the blasted things afterwards.
We tried obvious cool, dark places: the cupboard under the stairs, the utility room. Nothing. Kitchen cupboards. The fridge. Nothing. We tried a bit of role play. "Okay, I've had a couple of glasses of wine. What would seem a sensible thing to do with a bag of potatoes?" Surely we wouldn't have put them in a bedroom or living room, given the whole nasty smell thing that was the entire point. But time was ticking on, and I was getting increasingly hungry (I fall apart when I'm hungry) and they were definitely not anywhere sensible, so on we went to stupid places.
Underwear drawers. Inside the food bin. Outside, to search under all the easily accessible shrubs. The car. The recycling wheelie bin. Drawers we'd opened 3 times were opened for a 4th, just in case a different result was achieved. Underwear drawers again. Inside shoes. Inside boxes plainly too small to hide them, but they had to be somewhere. THEY HAD TO BE SOMEWHERE?
BUT WHERE? It was getting really quite surreal. They had to be somewhere, but we'd looked absolutely everywhere FOR AN HOUR! In the loft? No, we'd remember THAT - as I say, it honestly wasn't that much wine, and the rest of the evening after the potato incident was clear and vivid in our minds. The very fact that we'd forgotten all about it suggested that we hadn't gone far or put in any real effort - had probably done it casually while talking about something else, barely even noticing what we were doing.
But I was getting too hungry to wait, and though I refused to give up the search, something had to be done, so we grabbed some frozen parmentiers and popped them in instead.
Whereupon, naturally, Pellinor promptly found the missing potatoes. I'd put them on the dining chair I always use, protected from the room's bright sunlight by the cushion that always covers the chair. The dining table is currently set up for Gloomhaven (an endless board game) and we'd fully intended to play it that afternoon - hence, presumably, my assumption that I didn't have to bother trying to remember where I'd put them, since I'd discover them by sitting on them. ("Oh yes," said Pellinor, "I said something about the princess and the pea. I remember now!")
Oh, and the mysterious smell? It didn't move to the dining room, but it had also disappeared from the garage, so who knows? It is a Mystery, but after much questing and many daring adventures, the potatoes at length were not.
