Not here

Last year, I bought loads of chocolate for Halloween, but nobody turned up to claim it, so I had to eat it all myself. Since I've eaten far too much high calorie stuff over the last few weeks - moving libraries around is hard work, so restorative doughnuts and cakes get planted at every corner - I didn't want to risk that happening this year, so have bought nothing at all. Since this is a sure-fire guarantee of getting 25 parties of hungry ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggety beasties turning up on the doorstep, I am reduced to hiding at the back of the house with minimal lighting, and groping in the darkness whenever I need to go anywhere else. This is cowardly and wimpy and killjoyey and probably wrong, but, SHHH! I'm not here! You haven't seen me! That noise that you heard is only a cat, Nothing to see here - why should there be, since I'm still at work or on holiday or at the pub or out dancing, and not here, not here at all.