ladyofastolat (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladyofastolat) wrote2008-01-24 03:09 pm
ladyofastolat) wrote2008-01-24 03:09 pm
Entry tags:
Evil games?
While I was driving across the island today, the Health Secretary came on the radio, talking about his plans to make eating hamburgers a criminal offence. (Okay, no, he actually didn't say this, but it didn't seem far off.) One of the things he said was how they were working with computer game manufacturers to find ways to ensuring that children don't spend too much time indulging in such sedentary activities. This part wasn't elaborated on, at least in the part of the programme I was able to hear.
Given that computer game manuals always advise you not to play for too long, and many games already flash up messages suggesting that you take a break, I don't see what else they can do short of making the game stop working if you play it for too long. Imagine LAN parties in this brave new world. There you are, stalking your friends down a dark corridor, when suddenly the screen goes blank. "You have to go Outside now," intones the voice of the Health Secretary. "This game is now locked until you can prove that you have burned off 500 calories." Or you could be on the point of killing that impossible boss who's troubled you for days, when suddenly the screen flashes urgent red. "Pringles proximity alert! Pringles proximity alert! Remove the Pringles immediately! Replace them with vegetables now or this game will be terminated!"
Why limit it to computer games? Well, of course, everybody knows that computer games are pure evil, created by sociopaths whose sole aim is to corrupt innocent six year olds with games of graphic violence, but apart from that… What about books? Stop children from playing games, and they might pick up a book and, absorbed in the story, do no exercise for hours on end! This vile trade must be stopped! No-one should be allowed to read more than a chapter without stopping and going Outside to do some healthy exercise. What about selling books on a chapter by chapter basis, and making it illegal to buy more than one chapter at a time? Oh, and all bookshops must be located at least two miles from the nearest road, so people have to walk to get each new chapter. Yes, that will work. What a wise idea! It's amazing society didn't collapse years ago, with all this wanton unchecked reading of books. Thank goodness we have the government to look after us!
Given that computer game manuals always advise you not to play for too long, and many games already flash up messages suggesting that you take a break, I don't see what else they can do short of making the game stop working if you play it for too long. Imagine LAN parties in this brave new world. There you are, stalking your friends down a dark corridor, when suddenly the screen goes blank. "You have to go Outside now," intones the voice of the Health Secretary. "This game is now locked until you can prove that you have burned off 500 calories." Or you could be on the point of killing that impossible boss who's troubled you for days, when suddenly the screen flashes urgent red. "Pringles proximity alert! Pringles proximity alert! Remove the Pringles immediately! Replace them with vegetables now or this game will be terminated!"
Why limit it to computer games? Well, of course, everybody knows that computer games are pure evil, created by sociopaths whose sole aim is to corrupt innocent six year olds with games of graphic violence, but apart from that… What about books? Stop children from playing games, and they might pick up a book and, absorbed in the story, do no exercise for hours on end! This vile trade must be stopped! No-one should be allowed to read more than a chapter without stopping and going Outside to do some healthy exercise. What about selling books on a chapter by chapter basis, and making it illegal to buy more than one chapter at a time? Oh, and all bookshops must be located at least two miles from the nearest road, so people have to walk to get each new chapter. Yes, that will work. What a wise idea! It's amazing society didn't collapse years ago, with all this wanton unchecked reading of books. Thank goodness we have the government to look after us!